Jerry Jones: ‘Romo 100% Healthy,’ Seems To Actually Believe It

Dallas Cowboys Owner and GM Jerry Jones told reporters Tuesday that franchise quarterback Tony Romo is primed for action, declaring, “He is 100 percent. He’s 100 percent” at least twice, not unlike the way you repeat a phrase in front of the mirror when trying to turn a hope into a truth.

Romo has also announced himself as healthy-ish. In June he was quoted as saying that he was “getting to a point right now where I could go out and play if I had to.” Similarly, if I had to run from the law, I could grow some semblance of a beard, but, like Romo’s rushed return, it wouldn’t be pretty.

In Jones’ defense, however, his mathematical declaration on Romo’s health could be relative to his interpretation of what amounts to 100%. DE DeMarcus Lawrence will miss 8 to 12 weeks with a right foot fracture, further debilitating the Cowboys’ defense and placing him at 95% health.

Another fact to take into consideration is that the man who populates the owner’s box during games solely to clean Mr. Jones’ glasses was not present during this press conference.

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As any graduate of the D.A.R.E program who had to don the ‘eyes through a drunk’ glasses knows, debilitated lenses can cause impaired judgment.

Cowboy fans should closely follow Romo’s progress; if Brandon Weeden is forced to take snaps under center, the team may very well jeopardize its perennial 8-8 record.

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